Thursday, October 2, 2008

Kath v Gobbledeegook

Oh have I got steam coming outta my ears......why can't life be simple and straightforward.   I am in the process of filling out forms for my personal and government pensions due to be paid shortly......and I may not live to get them.....my BP must be sky high.   The first PP was straightforward....dealing with real people speaking in language we all understand......done and dusted.....the second one is a local government pension....now I can understand why.... our local council is 10 million in debt and have hired a finance whizz kiddie at the cost of £1,000 a day to sort out their mess....is it any wonder... they write in complete and utter gobbledeegook and the form is like an edition of War and Peace but I worked my way through it last night and now have to get photocopies of birth and marriage certificates etc ......scanner is in the depths of some cupboard....don't use it anymore...so off I go to Tesco.....well that's another trial....in the days of super huber tiny mobile phones.....why does the photocopy machine look like a flipping Tardis with enough buttons to stock a haberdashery shop.  Definitely need help to operate this monster.....along comes a whippersnapper.. knee high to a grasshopper...not long out of nappies young man....press this...this and this and walks away.....EXCUSE ME...I AM OLD....you will need to show me!!!!   Which he does with a look of exasperation.....hey matey....you will be a doddery old sod some day too.   OK...2 down and one to go........No 3 is my Government State Pension and this is the classic of all classics.
Got all the usual forms.....which were 20 times worse than the last one.....spent night after night filling them in.....sent them off with a sigh of relief and then shock horror  back came a letter with all the forms....I had forgotten to sign them...well excuse me...I was completely and utterly brain dead by the time I came to the signy bit.
Enclosed with all this bumph was an explanatory booklet.....not a good choice of name....you needed an explanatory booklet just to fathom out the explanatory booklet...but a little paragraph popped out at me......
Quote " if you wish to be given an estimate of the pension you are likely to receive......log on to www.gov/pension.....blah.... blah...    OK...nosey old me.....logs on.....fills out more forms......gets to last page eventually......."YOU HAVE NOW REGISTERED FOR THIS SERVICE" and will be sent a code to activate.   OK we are getting somewhere now.....code arrives one week later and you wouldn't believe......it's about 30 digits long.....OK...keep calm......enter code and what message do I get......

"THIS SERVICE IS UNAVAILABLE"
so why in the name of the wee man (that's a Scottish saying) did you send me the bloody code in the first place if the service doesn't work.  To be perfectly honest I have given up and will be grateful for any amount......just please don't make me fill in any more forms.  Me thinks this may be the latest Government ploy.....get all these oldies so stressed out...that they pop their clogs and save us lots of money in unclaimed pensions.....Government and Finance......gee.....not a surprise then that the country is in such a state.
Am now off to have a lie down in a very dark room...have totally lost the will to live.
Love Kath   xxxxxx

11 comments:

mudmaven said...

Hang in there old girl! Have a cuddle with Buddy - that'll make it all worthwhile!

Terrie B x said...

Oh Kath...
BLess ya chick!!!but you do make me laugh...please dont give up the will to live just yet!!!!Too many will miss your gorgeous creations...
God only knows what I`m gonna be like when I have to fill my forms in!!!rofl...
Can you imagine that one then?
Ok then no !!!you cant...lol...
but I do hope you get your forms sorted out anyways....
Hey you have a lovely Evening lovely Lady:)~X~

Kim Piggott said...

Oh Kath I really feel for you. Red tape what would we do without it.
kim x

Terrie B x said...

Anyways I forgot to say` Kath`....
You got everything to live for ...

`Your cosmo cricket kit`!!!!
That should be with you soon....lol...
something to look forward to now isnt it:)~X~

Dawn said...

Oh dear Kath, me being a lonely civil servant I work there and know exactly what you mean!!
The service will probably be back up soon we are always having "technical problems"!!
I had a good old titter to myself your post is so funny - you did brighten my day though although yours wasn't so bright!

Hugs
Dawn
x

Desire Fourie said...

Oh, how I enjoyed reading your account of filling in rediculous forms. It definitely put a smile on my dial this Friday morning. Yip, what is the use of a code if it can't be used for something and of course the best bit for me was the description of the chappie at Tusco ... typical. Lets hope the specific organisations gets to read your very detailed account. Warm regards

Mrs Wonka said...

I wouldn't get up till Monday! Sorry you had such a nightmare!

Mrs Wonka x

Tip Top said...

Oh dear!

Ann Rosie said...

Oh Kath - I do love you - your blog always makes me smile, but this morning I've got tears running down my cheeks.

Now hope you've calmed down and have a wonderful holibag with the family. I'll miss your wonderful creations and will be desperate for your return to bloggyland!!!!

All my love
Ann

Elena said...

Oh Kath, I can hear you about this. We wereapplying for my son's green card 4 times. And it is not just forms. It is a fee and tons of papers. He is 8 now. From the 4th time they finally got it. Now we are doing his 10 years green card. I hope everything will be all right this time... I wish you good luck! Everything will be all wright!

Jackie said...

oh bless you Kath... I know exactly what you mean about booklets to explain the explaination... and yep think you right.... its a ploy to pay less cos we pop our clogs with stress. ... xx (did give me a chuckle as always thou) xxx

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